Sharing a room is quite common. It cuts costs and is a good antidote to feelings of isolation and loneliness. However, sometimes there are conflicts and disagreements. Mostly these can be resolved easily. But sometimes they can’t, so here are some tips.

1. It is best to deal face-to-face with the person with whom you are experiencing conflict. Leaving notes to each other often makes things worse. Raise the problem as soon as possible rather than letting it drag on and become an even bigger issue.
2. Choose the right time to raise it with the other person. For example, don’t raise it if the other person is about to go to work or to classes.
3. Think about what you want to say beforehand. You need to state clearly why the issue is a problem for you. It may help if you jot down some notes to refer to so you do not get flustered and forget something important.
4. Do not begin by blaming the other person for everything or by announcing how things have to be done differently.
5. Stay calm. Be firm about the need to discuss the issue. State your points simply, don’t make it a drama. Give the other person the chance to respond and tell you how they see things. Relax, listen, be prepared to learn and to change your opinion.
6. Let the other person know what you understand their position to be. You do not necessarily have to agree with it. But it is important for both of you to know that the other has heard what you have to say.
7. When you have both said your piece and understood each other’s position, move to working out what both of you need to do to resolve the issue cooperatively and constructively. Sometimes it helps to write down what you have agreed upon.
8. Once you start to work on resolving things, do it right. Get the whole issue out to work on, do not leave out or ignore hard bits.
9. Agree on a time in the near future to check with each other that the solution is working.