If you could write a letter to your younger self, what would you say? Sarah Supahan reflects on how her transition from high school to university made her grow stronger through her personal experiences.
Written by Sarah binti Supahan, Bachelor of Business (International Business), and Swinburne Sarawak Student Council (Lead Volunteers Management).
Hi there! My name is Sarah. I’m a final-year undergraduate student in International Business at Swinburne Sarawak. I started my university journey in 2018 as a Foundation in Business student after completing my high school diploma in Brunei Darussalam (a tiny but peaceful country in the heart of Borneo).
Being an average student (well, below-average for most of my years) in high school, I never thought I could get into university just by looking at the red marks in my report card. I thought that even if I did get into university, I probably wouldn’t last long. I didn’t have any extracurricular activities to back me up. And because I felt like I was bad in socialising, I often thought to myself, “Man, I am going to end up a loner again”.
When I got my final high school diploma results back, I was pleasantly surprised and glad to find out that it was enough to enrol into Swinburne’s Foundation studies. Many who start their university journey often experience uncertainty, anxiety, and worry about how they’re going to get through in such a new environment. And I was no different. I honestly did not know how to go about my life.
But with a determination to start afresh, I left everyone I knew and everything I have ever known behind to move to Kuching, where I had to adapt to a new culture, environment, and atmosphere (I bet many of you can relate!).
Looking back at it today, I wonder why I was ever worried. So, here’s a little diary entry to my 15-year-old self. Hopefully, she’ll get to read it one way or another. And if you find yourself self-doubting to start university, I hope this will inspire you too.
Dear little Sarah,
Remember the time when you wanted to become an adult so bad? Well, this is Sarah from the future speaking and you’re a good two decades old now. It wasn’t an easy journey, but you made it, although I wish there were things you would’ve done differently. Because if you saw how you are glowing now, I assure you that you would be happier knowing that everything will fall into place. Trust me.
I wish you took care of yourself better. Sure, those D’s you got in your high school report card did burn a hole in your heart, especially after burning the midnight oil all those weeks. But you shouldn’t have beaten yourself up so hard over them. Because when you’re finally doing something you love, you will love every moment of it. You didn’t have to tell yourself all those mean things and compare yourself to other people. Everybody studies and understands at different paces, including you. One failure doesn’t set you for life.
I wish you knew how loved you are. At 15, you wanted to make friends, even with those that weren’t nice to you. You tore off bits of yourself for others but forgot to save some for yourself, yet I wish you didn’t (Don’t worry, you can keep the friends you have now, they’re pretty cool). Of course, I don’t blame you for trying your best back then.
I remember when you finished high school, you were so reluctant to move to another country, all because you thought you were going to end up alone without friends or support. Man, if I could show you now the pictures of yourself having lunch with the best people on Earth, maybe you’d save some love for yourself. If you could see how well you’ve learnt to interact with crowds while volunteering, perhaps you would’ve felt less anxious going out in public.
If I could show you standing next to the university’s Dean of School holding your Dean’s List Award, you might’ve stopped crying yourself to bed every night feeling like you couldn’t catch up with everyone else. You could’ve been happier. But it’s okay, you’re happy now. You’re doing great academically, and you managed to secure a spot every semester on the Dean’s List. And it all comes from finally doing something you love.
You have the absolute best people in the world as your friends. They help you become a better person and make you feel whole, even after giving all your love to people who didn’t deserve it. You even have a dream to inspire and help others, when you were once a person who needed it the most. You’re a Student Council member now, standing next to others who have the same dream.
Where you are now, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I wish I could show you that you didn’t have to spend all those years thinking you weren’t going to make it. But I’m proud of you. I know you needed to hear that more back in the day, but late is better than never.
Love,
Future Sarah – a better you.
To our dear readers, I hope my diary entry was able to give you some closure. Perhaps many of us didn’t start on the right path, or maybe we have regrets in the past. I learnt with so much love and support being in Swinburne, that no matter where, how or what past you came from, it doesn’t dictate your future. If you have the will to learn and love, you will find greatness in every little thing you do. Every step you take is progress. Don’t let anything or anyone make you think otherwise.
I hope you’ll think about what I’ve written here today, and hopefully, it will help you the way it has helped me grow.
Signing off,
Sarah
Ready to start your Swinburne story?
With our ‘Fast-Track Foundation’, students who enrol into our June or July 2021 Foundation programme will be able to fast track to degree as soon as March 2022.
Take the chance to learn more about our courses and scholarships available when you book an appointment to speak to our course counsellors. We’ve extended our online counselling on demand from 25 to 27 June, 10am to 10pm (GMT +08:00). For more information, contact us via WhatsApp at +6019-819 6353, live chat at tawk.to/swinburnesarawak, or email to study@swinburne.edu.my.